dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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