Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
