I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
