I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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