What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
