Fuck appropriateness.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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