she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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