My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
