watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
