it hurts more in the daytime
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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