I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
