Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
