When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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