I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
