he thought i was a dude.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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