I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Terrible idea I love it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
