ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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