I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
