3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
