Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
