So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
