I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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