apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
