We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
