she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
