So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
