Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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