$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
