It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
