i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
