can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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