he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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