i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
