this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
