It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
