was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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