So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize