The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
