we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
