thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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