I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
