Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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