My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
