She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
