Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
