I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
