New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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