do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
