i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Boobs are out for the taking
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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