if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
