handjob tips. give me some.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
